Kissomatic^™

How to kiss?

Kissing is not just about the action or movement that is labeled 'a kiss' but rather a complex web of social, and psychological factors and motivators. To be a good kisser one has to be a good judge, and an even better observer. Even though there will never be a "science" to kissing, there are many different skills that are unquestionably crucial, even before the act of kissing takes place, to be aware of and adept at, many of which are listed below.

Timing - Kissing is something a person does to display affection, to show someone you care, and as such, picking the appropriate moment to kiss is crucial to a person’s success. In particular when you are just getting to know someone, deciding when that first kiss will take place, timing will always be the most important factor. You don’t want to take the person you want to kiss completely by surprise or startle them with an unwelcome smooch. You also don’t want a kiss to seem forced or obligatory. A good kiss "needs" to happen. It will feel right. There is an immediacy to the act that a person needs to sense, like a buzzer going off in your head that say "it’s time!!!" Even if the other factors in this list are not perfect but you are with someone and you suddenly feel like the moment is perfect, usually a kiss will work out because the “chemistry” is there.

Environment - As much as there is a time to be kissed there is also a place to be kissed. Considering where you are, who else will be around, the lighting, the ambiance, the little things about any given situation make a difference. Try to avoid kissing someone in a place that is uncomfortable or when his/her attention is on some particular task, for example while your partner is trying to pay for something in a supermarket or on the phone having a serious conversation. Specifically, If you want to kiss someone for the first time, make sure that the environment is romantic, don’t try to "fit it in" whenever you think you can land it successfully.

Note: public displays of affection are a very personal matter for many. Some people don’t mind them, others forbid them, often times everyone has their own comfort level with kissing in public. It is really important to understand your partner’s preference when it comes to kissing in public and to respect it.

Emotions of partner - Getting inside someone's head is a virtually impossible but if you communicate will with someone and read his/her body language then it will be much easier to tell how a person feels about kissing. Learn to watch your partner’s face and body. Is he making eye contact with you? Is she glancing down at your mouth? Sitting with her body towards you? If you are getting positive signals, then you can be more confident that your kiss will be welcomed.

Personal Intentions - It is important to know what you want from a kiss. Even though a kiss is sometimes a careless act of passion, or an unstoppable urge, somewhere deep down, if you know what you want to happen then you will understand when a kiss should start and stop.